Haunted Movie Review:
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Portia de Rossi … Zela
Mya … Jenny
Shannon Elizabeth … Becky
Kristina Anapau … Brooke
Jesse Eisenberg … Jimmy
Milo Ventimiglia … Bo
Jonny Acker … Earl
Eric Ladin … Louie
Christina Ricci … Ellie
Cursed begins with two girls and their trip to a palm reader. While there, they receive a deadly prophesy of ill-fated futures which they must take pains to avoid.
Flash to city lights in the shape of a pentagram. Flash then to a canine beast as it hits their car, which careens into another car. The crash sends both cars flying off a cliff, at which time, a werewolf grabs a girl from the other car, while our protagonists try to save her. The girl is lost to the wolf. Meanwhile, Ellie and Jim survive both the crash and the attack, but they’re not unscathed. Jim has a scratch on his chest and Ellie has been bitten on the arm. Is it anything to worry about?
Now we’re following Ellie’s dreams, which run riot with visions of werewolves, death, and her boyfriend Jake. Meanwhile, Jim wakes up to find himself naked and outdoors. Oddly, he doesn’t seem all too concerned with it, and he hurries off to find meat for breakfast.
More strange events unfold for Ellie. She wonders if the accident has anything to do with it all. Why, for instance, is she drawn to the smell of blood from a girl’s nosebleed at work? Why is she drawn to the moon in the midst of an interview with Scott Baio?
The mystery slowly reveals itself through a series of flashes and parallel narratives. Several stories are told in tandem, weaving together the missing pieces of a puzzle. Could the ongoing mystery have anything to do with the deaths of the two girls, Becky and Jenny?
One by one clues reveal themselves; clues that point to something not altogether human. A pair of footprints in a garage turn out to be animal prints. More flashbacks come. The fate of the girl who got her palm read is told. On the night of her prophesy she spies a werewolf from which she flees in the direction of an elevator, but when it opens a menacing presence attacks!
We flash back to Jim, now at home studying. He’s checked out some books dealing with myths and werewolves. Believing they will shed light on these strange events, he learns that he must sever the unholy ties between man and beast to lift the curse that has come over him.
As tension mounts in tried-and-true Wes Craven fashion one thing leads to another. Gore and death ensue, and as the trio fight to break the curse, people die one by one.
Cursed gamely takes on the challenge of altering time and character points of view, flashing from one place and person to the next. Intertwining character progressions unfold, alas in less-than-riveting fashion.
Joanie: I guess there’s no such thing as safe sex with a werewolf.
Jimmy Myers: [trying to calm Becky down, who’s tucked upside down in her car] Just stay still.
Becky: [shouting] You try and having your car rolled down a mountain and staying fucking still!
Jake: The only way you can break the curse is by killing the one who started it all and that’s me. I’m not ready to die just yet.
Jake: Where is that brother of yours anyway? Now where could he be…in the basement? These heightened senses are a kick huh?
Joanie: I’m not going to kill her. I’m just gonna rip her to shreds and let her choke on her own blood… and then maybe I’ll eat her.
Jesse Eisenberg is Jimmy… the nerdy kid with the dog.
Kristina Anapau is Brooke… the girl dating Bob.
Christina Ricci is Ellie… the surviving victim of a car crash and its mysterious events thereafter.
Joshua Jackson is Jake… Ellie’s boyfriend and a businessman trying to open a horror club.
Thoughts from the HauntedHouses.com team
In the end, Cursed is a movie made for quick and dirty entertainment; another ghost story told to scare and distract for a few hours. Lose yourself in its twists and turns if you can, and hopefully get your money’s worth.